It’s the second week of this bible study series, and I’m just going to dive right in! You can read the previous posts here if you missed the intro or week one of this series. This week is all about some of the biblical examples of serving your spouse.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. ~ Colossians 3:18-19
This verse is a hard one, and always has been for me personally. The word submit is a lot like the word serve to me, difficult for me to follow. They are both such strong words and I have a very, let’s say opinionated, personality. I like being in control and I have naturally taken on the role of the rule maker in our house since becoming a stay at home mom. So for me to submit to my husband can be difficult at times because I am very opinionated, but I come back to this verse often because it challenges me.
It’s hard to let go of our self serving ways on earth, and it can be especially hard to do this when we don’t feel someone deserves it. Now, I’m not about to say my husband doesn’t deserve to be the head of our household or for me to submit and concede at times. However, when I feel something should be done a certain way I have a hard time biting my tongue and letting him make the decisions he should be for our household.
I’m not saying we should let our husbands make all of our decisions and it’s his way or no way. Marriage is a partnership and we make the majority of decisions together. I am saying that we do also need to make sure we are submitting to our husbands when it’s appropriate. Looking at the second part of that verse when Paul tells husbands to love their wives and do not be harsh with them, the Bible has clear instructions to both husbands and wives on how we should treat one another.
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three stands is not quickly broken. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:12
If there is no other Bible verse about marriage that you commit to memory or come back to, let this be the one you remember and come back to often. It’s quite simple, A cord of three strands refers to a husband, wife, and God working together in unison. If you both are consistently seeking God and keeping him at the center of your marriage, your marriage will stay strong and won’t be easily broken.
The key to this is both the husband and wife consistently seeking God. I’m not saying marriages can’t work with a husband or wife seeking God on their own, but imagine how much stronger your marriage would be if you both actively sought God and made decisions together honoring Him? Thinking back on my marriage before we were strong in our faith and after, we have been such a better team with God at the center of our marriage.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. ~ Proverbs 31:11-12
Ah, Proverbs 31. Such an empowering and uplifting chapter of the Bible for women in particular. I have read Proverbs 31 many times, but reading it again recently this verse really stood out for me and I thought it would be perfect for this Bible study. Proverbs 31 has great guidelines on how Christian women should live, but this one specifically talks about our husband’s hearts.
My husband is a very kindhearted person. He thrives on being around people and getting to know them on a deeper level, but with that can come heartache. Because my husband is sometimes taken advantage of because he is so kind and giving, I work very hard to guard his heart, if you will.
Now I’m not saying my husband is an emotional guy or comes home crying because someone hurt his feelings. But when he hears someone saying something negative about him or he helps others and it’s not reciprocated, I try to make sure I am there to not only listen but keep his heart safe. We are so used to hearing about making sure we respect our husbands, and yes that is important but we also need to be the safe haven for their hearts. It says in this verse just how important being a safe place for their heart is as well.
When I say guarding his heart, I mean making sure I listen without interrupting, making sure he has a safe place to talk without judgement, gently reminding him if he is over committing himself to too many things, reassuring if he needs it, etc. After being with your husband you will know what you need to help guard his heart from, and doing what you can to make sure his heart is safe is a wonderful way to serve your husband.
I purposefully focused on writing about how we can spiritually and emotionally serve our husbands this week. I didn’t want to speak about housework or finances or what have you because not only are those touchy subjects, but what works for me and my husband might not work for you and yours. You can serve your husband in more ways than the physical acts of service.
I encourage you to find a way you can serve your husband this week (and going forward) that isn’t just about the physical acts of serving. Talk with him about something that might be troubling him and do your best to listen without giving advice, unless he asks for it. Ask him what his dreams for the future are, and ways you can work toward those dreams together. When we serve our husbands this way, it not only strengthens our marriages but is another way of serving God.